Only Fools Become Hanged Men
by LM Simpson
Summary: oneshot. The Wheel of Fortune perpetually plays with Luigi.


**Title: **Only Fools Become Hanged Men

**Author: **LM Simpson (Kady the Red Panda)

**Pairing(s): **Daisy/Luigi

**Rating: **T

**Warning(s): **Suggestive themes

**Disclaimer: **Dude, Mario Bros isn't mine. You think Nintendo would write something like this? Also, I don't own any quotes from the poem "The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock" by TS Eliot. Any other things that I didn't notice are also not mine.

**Other tidbits: **As a friend told me, this may be the only Mario fanfic that incorporates TS Eliot. I'm proud of that fact. All quotes in this fanfic before the actual story are from the same poem.

(Oh, and some words may be capitalized when they shouldn't be for a reason. Symbolism, people! Symbolism!)

0000

"_Do I dare/__Disturb the universe?/ In a minute there is time /For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."_

TS Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"

I.

_I am no prophet—and here's no great matter; /I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, /And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,__ /__And in short, I was afraid._

…

As hard and frequent that he battles it, Luigi cannot defeat fate.

As much as he detests it, the fact is that God or the gods, for one reason or another, decided to make him the jester, the loser, the wuss. If he a tarot card, he would most likely be labeled the Fool, whereas Mario would instead be dubbed the Hero, despite their being on the same journey.

He will never be as famous, or as smart, or as brave as his twin brother. No matter what he does, his name is forgotten by the Mushroom people as soon as they hear it again and again. Even Mario appears to forget that he exists at times. Luigi often loses sleep over the fear that he will be forgotten entirely when he dies, regardless of his heroic accomplishments.

Treated like trash in life, treated like trash in death.

Simple as that.

II.

_LET us go then, you and I, /When the evening is spread out against the sky… /Oh, do not ask, "What is it?" /Let us go and make our visit._

…

When Luigi's inferiority complex has not completely polluted his mind, however, he seeks guidance to reassure his fears are moot. Monthly, he consults Madame Clairvoya, for although the spirit fortune teller can only see forty-nine days maximum into the future, she is still one of the best clairvoyants in the kingdom in his opinion. Luigi trusts her, because she relieved his fears of losing Mario forever when he disappeared in the illusion mansion.

Since he originally met her, she has switched her technique from crystal balls to tarot. Luigi shakes from both the stone cold fortune teller room's chill and from nervousness as he observes Madame draw cards of three.

"The spirits have chosen to show you these, Luigi," she says. "I see the Hanged Man—look at how he hangs upside down in the tree!"

As Luigi sees the card, he is relieved that the illustration is not of a man with rope around his neck. Surely that did not mean death.

"See also the Empress, your greatest desire!" Madame continues, pointing at the second card. "And it seems you have good reason, as well! The spirits tell me that your love is as beautiful as the flower she's named after!"

Luigi blushes as his heart rate hikes. His mind replaces the purple attired queen on the yellowed card with orange dressed Daisy, having her wear the starry crown and holding the golden scepter instead.

"And finally, the spirits have selected the Moon. As indicated by the Hanged Man, you have been patient all this time for a woman's love, green Luigi—"

The mustached man grins.

"—But your chance with this woman as you wish is not certain. The Moon is advising you that your success depends solely on you. Try not to be bullheaded around her."

Luigi could swear his heart is shivering like the remainder of his body.

"My energy has been exhausted. I can barely say anymore. Please send me back to my painting, dear Luigi. I desperately need my rest. Adieu."

He sighs, thanks her for her time. Luigi shines the light at her heart and turns on the Poltergust.

III.

_And time for all the works and days of hands /That lift and drop a question on your plate;__ /__Time for you and time for me,_

…

Luigi's dream is unconventional for him.

Tonight he is in the Garden of Eden. The sun's position indicates that it is high noon. The temperature is pleasant, like a fresh spring day. Birds tweet love songs nearby.

He has his back touching a tree's rough bark. He is nude, but is not insecure, or embarrassed, or in the least bit humiliated, for once. This is nature at its purest; there is nothing to worry about. He is content and satisfied…except for one thing missing in his life.

Something stirs on the other side of the tree. Luigi cocks his head in the sound's direction and just as swiftly withdraws it. He fights against emitting a giddy chuckle. His cheeks are the color as ripe apples.

The one thing he was missing was finally here.

The auburn haired woman, also nude but with her long hair concealing her pink rosebuds, sneaks behind him. He lets out a scream of shock when she surprises him. She laughs as he jumps and regains composure.

"You're jumpier than you look!" She giggles again before standing to his right. He still has red apple cheeks.

He slowly turns his body to her. He is smiling. "My name is Luigi."

"Luigi, huh?" The woman now has red apple cheeks as well. "To be honest, I don't have a name."

Luigi, initially shocked, realized that he forgot to assign her a name, like he did the Koopas, the Goombas, and the Lakitu. Gazing at her gorgeous face, he noticed a daisy in her long hair, secured behind her left ear. That had a good sound to it…

"You have one, now. Your name is Daisy, and you will by my wife."

Daisy removes the flower in her hair and holds the stem in her hand. She stares at the petals as if to ponder what he just said. She looks back at Luigi. "Yes, that's good enough for me—all of it!"

Luigi begins crying joyful tears. Daisy pounces on him, forcing them both on the grass. As they kiss for the first, second, third time, Daisy atop him, Luigi's wish has finally come true.

He dreams in pleasure about his time in the Garden of Eden, until the sunshine wakes him up and banishes him from the Garden, as if to say:

"Sorry, but your princess is in another Garden."

IV.

_Shall I part my hair behind?/ Do I dare to eat a peach?_

…

After the final tournament cup is awarded to Mario and Luigi, Princess Peach throws a post-race fete in her castle to celebrate. Everyone who raced (except for the babies, who need to return to their own time) is invited.

Luigi doesn't want to go. All he wants to do is rest and nurse the lump on the back of his head, from when a KoopaTroopa threw a red shell towards their kart. Further, what if Daisy saw it, should his cap come off somehow? Mario did not have a scratch on him, after all.

Mario insists that they should go. They did win, after all. Holding a peach in one hand, he grabs him with the other hand, drags them both down a warp pipe.

Luigi hits his head in the same place as the lump on the way down.

V.

_In the room the women come and go /Talking of Michelangelo._

…

The castle ballroom is decorated in red and pink tapestries. Candles festoon throughout the perimeter and chandelier for light. There are Yoshi cookies piled on large silver platters on a scarlet tableclothed table, as well as fruit.

Racers discuss various topics over food and drink, like how excruciating Rainbow Road always is to how Donkey Kong lost his banana hoard to thieves yet again. Luigi, meanwhile, sits in a green seated chair next to the cookies.

He nibbles on a flower shaped cookie as he watches Peach shower Mario with attention across the room. Peach claps and smiles as Mario spoke of something daring Luigi and he probably did on the track. He is about to take a bite of the fruit he brought along when Peach kisses him on the cheek. Mario drops the peach on the red carpet. Peach appears to whisper something to his big brother. Mario nods. Only Luigi appears to notice the twosome sneaking off to another room, most likely her chambers. Mario has a better peach to chew on than the bruised fruit on the floor.

Luigi is both knowing and jealous of how Mario can be so easy around a woman. It just seems so natural for him to interact with them without humiliating himself. If he wasn't as timid as he was around Daisy, maybe he could be just like his brother. All little brothers, even if they're six minutes younger, want to be like their big brother.

He absentmindedly reaches towards a piece of fruit. His hand lands on an apple when another hand lands on his. The hand is human and female. He does not even need to look at its owner to know that the hand is Daisy's. His heart beat intensifies tempo.

His fingers clamp around the apple and wrench back to his body. Daisy's own hand twitches back in response, but still hovers over the fruit platter. He immediately feels guilty for being so rude to anyone, let alone to a princess.

He shakes as he hands the apple to her.

"Uh… Ladies first," he says with a nervous giggle.

Daisy stares at the embarrassed plumber before smiling.

"Thank you, Luigi!" she said, grabbing it from him. "You really shouldn't have!"

"I… shouldn't have?"

She takes a bite. She replies with food in her mouth. It's very unlike a princess, but it makes her all the more human. Luigi loves Daisy's lack of humility around him.

"I mean, you could've ate it yourself if you wanted it, but you decided to act like a gentleman instead."

Daisy hears Toadette calling for her. She begins stepping back towards the room's center, but not before saying first:

"Oh, and by the way, congrats for winning the tournament. I don't think you hear that that often…"

She winks and leaves the man in green be.

Luigi shakes with joy by the appreciation. He repeats her comment in his head to cement it in his mind. Dainty actions like that were always optimistic.

VI.

_Should I, after tea and cakes and ices, /Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?_

…

Daisy and he are back in the Garden of Eden tonight. This time the Lovers are clothed, covered in dresses of flowers and leaves. Two apple cores are on the ground against the tree they were at previously. They hide behind a hedge, huddled against each other. Their eyes are enlarged in fear.

Cards float down from the sky, landing a yard or two from the hedge hidden couple. Luigi shifts away from Daisy.

"Luigi what are you doing?" Daisy asks as her husband arises like an erected Tower.

"Well, it was my fault… Kinda." He gulps. "I need to take the blame for both of us."

"No! I need to come with you too! You're not taking _all_ the blame, buddy!" Daisy snaps.

She lifts her body up and tries to grab Luigi's shoulder. His hand grabs hers, instead.

He is beginning to tear up. "Daisy… I don't want to hurt you even more than I already have."

"You weren't even aware you were doing it, Luigi! And besides, I've already forgiven you!"

"… That doesn't mean that I still regret it…"

Luigi kisses Daisy and leaves her behind the hedge.

There are three cards on the ground, all face down. He picks them all up first, all still face down, before flipping each over. First is the High Priestess, symbolizing his innermost secrets. The second is the Strength, inverted so that it foretells lack of control over oneself. The third, last but not least, chills Luigi's blood—the Death.

Luigi drops the cards; they stick to his feet like they were imprinted on him. He gazes upon the woman standing behind the hedge. He knows that she anticipates his return, but he cannot return to his love no matter what he wishes.

There is a pursuit.

"Luigi! Where are you going? Luigi! Get over here and talk to me! Luigi, why? LUIGI! ..."

The man awakes. His heart aches. Something deep inside tells him that Mario and his next escapade will not bode well for him. He also ponders what Daisy was talking about at the hedge when Mario opens the door and tells him to roll out of bed.

The haunted Luigi muses about the dream in the back of his mind until later that day, when Toad announces to the brothers that Princess Peach was kidnapped again.

VII.

_Would it have been worth while,__ /__To have bitten off the matter with a smile, /To have squeezed the universe into a ball /To roll it toward some overwhelming question, /To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead, /Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all"—__ /__If one, settling a pillow by her head, /Should say: "That is not what I meant at all; /That is not it, at all."_

…

Luigi's mind spins and aches, as if he was hung over. He does not recall drinking beforehand, though. Then again, nor does he remember much of the past several days.

His senses progressively clarify. Salty sweat collects around his mustache and all over his body. It also scents that air and stings the deep welts all over his stomach.

He is on all fours, on a fluffy mattress. The sheets covering his shame are woven from silk, and obviously expensive. This is definitely not his bed at home. This bed is fit for royalty, not a commoner plumber like him.

There is a sobbing, peach colored mass under him. He recognizes the sobbing sounds, even before he clearly sees the actual person he is atop of.

Daisy has bruises all over her face. Her blue eyes lock onto his. She is just as confused as he, he can tell.

"Your eyes aren't gray anymore…" she chokes.

He's puzzled. He doesn't know why his eyes would ever be gray.

But that's not important.

"Daisy," he said, "I'm so sorry! I don't know why this is happening! Really! I didn't mean to do this!"

"I know you didn't."

"How do you know I'm not?"

"Peach wrote a letter to me about what happened the last time she was kidnapped. You were briefly brainwashed by the enemy at one time. I guess your dark side came out again…"

She faces away from him. He attempts to place a hand on her facing cheek: as a comforting gesture, as a loving gesture, as a way to prove that he was not this monster that possessed him moments earlier. Her whimpers as the palm got closer signaled for him to move it back to the sheets.

"It's all my fault. My body must have caused your dark side to take you over in intense lust… I fought so hard to try to wake 'you' up before he could, he could…"

"No! NO! It's not your fault!"

Daisy weeps. "Please go, Luigi. I need to regain my composure before I can do anything else…"

Luigi wants to reassure her in another way, but sighs as he admits defeat. Nothing he can do will ever make her forgive her. He's blown his chance while he wasn't even himself. He locates his clothing and sneaks out the castle.

When he arrives home, Luigi locks his room and sits on his bed. He covers his eyes and, as quietly as he can, drowns in his own tears.

VIII.

_No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be; /Am an attendant lord, one that will do /To swell a progress, start a scene or two, /Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool, /Deferential, glad to be of use,__ /__Politic, cautious, and meticulous; /Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; /At times, indeed, almost ridiculous— /Almost, at times, the Fool._

…

Mario is worried. Luigi has not left his room in days.

Mario tries everything to lure Luigi out: coaxing, pasta, the chance to be player one on the Wii for once.

None of it works.

A week after the initial isolation, Mario notices he has not heard a peep from his brother's room. Something is definitely wrong with his little brother. He takes a monkey wrench from his toolbox and breaks the doorknob off from its foundation.

To his astonishment, Luigi was not in the room. The window is open; the curtains sway in the soft breeze. Mario also notices a scrap of paper on the pillow and reads it.

"Mario," it begins,

"I know you have told me millions of times to always face your fears. But this time, I don't think I can.

"I violated Daisy back at her castle. I _raped_ her, Mario. Worse, I wasn't even aware I was doing it in the first place. Whatever happened to me when I was in Count Bleck's castle evidentially happened again. And this time, I hurt someone I cared for deeply in the worst way possible. The fear in Daisy's eyes when I regained consciousness… I don't want to think about it anymore. Otherwise, I may have to hang myself over it.

"I've decided to leave the Mushroom Kingdom. I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore: not you, not Peach, not the Toads, and definitely not Daisy. I love you, big brother, but it's best for everyone that I'm gone.

"Sincerely,

"Luigi."

Mario does not even let go of the letter before venturing towards the castle.

IX.

_I should have been a pair of ragged claws /Scuttling across the floors of silent seas._

…

Luigi gulps as he stares at the dilapidated rope bridge. It's getting dark, but he has to be as far away from the Mushroom Kingdom as he can. He is on the border, at an old crossing post, and is so close. This is his remaining obstacle to other territory.

Part of his body tells him this is stupid. He shouldn't even be here in the first place. He should be home making pizza with Mario and reconstructing his last relationship with Daisy.

Another part tells him that he should go across like a big boy. Mario would do it in a heartbeat, no doubt.

The latter part overrides his initial feelings.

The planks creak as he first steps on and grabs on the loosening hemp sides for support. The bridge itself sways side to side, synching with his movement. He cautiously steps over a vine as he continues on.

He's already shaking as he hears a woman call out his name behind him.

"Luigi!" Daisy calls out from a warp pipe in the near distance. "What are you doing? We've been scrambling all over the place for you! Mario has been worried sick over you!"

She then whispers, audible only to herself, "_I_ have been worried sick over you…"

Luigi is afraid to turn around. Not only is he afraid he'll be overcome with lust again, but he also fears that the bridge will collapse.

"Daisy, I… I just can't get over the fact I hurt you…"

"_I_ got over it. We're human, Luigi—we make mistakes all the time, like it's our job.

"Look, I'm sorry for blaming myself earlier. It's neither of our faults. Please, come with me… So we can meet up with Mario and Peach, so we can start over again…

"I love you, Luigi…"

A tear streaks down his cheek. "I… Love you too, Daisy."

He slowly begins to turn around. The bridge quakes. He hears another set of footsteps on the bridge.

He moves quicker as he yells to the advancing princess:

"Daisy! It's a bad idea to r—"

He trips over the vine; it wraps around his ankle. He lands onto Daisy, causing them both to fall through the rotten planks.

Among the chaos below them, Luigi and Daisy are holding onto each other, both of them hanging upside-down by a weakening vine.

Mario isn't going to rescue them this time, Luigi senses. The Wheel of Fortune has finally landed on death.

"…Luigi?"

The vine aches.

"Yes, Daisy?"

"I meant everything I said."

"So did I."

…

X.

_Would it have been worth while, /After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets, /After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor— /And this, and so much more?—_

…

Was all of this turmoil worth it, just from him to die like this?

Yes.

Yes, it was, if he was dying with Daisy at his side.

They kissed. Their lips were still locked as the rope finally snaps.

Daisy and Luigi are still intertwined when they hit the water hundreds of feet below and disappear with a splash.

…

_We have lingered in the chambers of the sea _

_By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown_

_Till human voices wake us, and we drown._


End file.
